They find out that they’re to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. Top 50 Funny Computer Quotes byJun-February 03, 2010-88 comments If you have enjoyed our collection of top 50 Linux quotes of all time, I'm sure you would love these funny computer-related quotes that I have put together. Explore 274 Engineers Quotes by authors including Scott Adams, Mark Zuckerberg, and James A. Michener at BrainyQuote. it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, Here Funny Engineer Quotes is a quote to enrich your life. “Take the best that exists and make it better.” “The road to success is always under construction”. You’re between 59 and 60 degrees north latitude and between 107 and 108 degrees west longitude.”. Engineering Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool!”. A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to fit any data. “I know,” said the Departmental Manager, “Let’s have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.”, “No, no,” said the Hardware Engineer, “That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. If it is, document it. The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. “Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”. classic!. They have a supply of canned goods but no can opener. 27 Best President Jokes Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. Quotes tagged as "engineering" Showing 1-30 of 190. “I had no talent for science. The lawyer looked somewhat confused. An Engineering student attended a Medical exam by mistake. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”, The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”, “I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”, “Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. Engineers Day Whats App Status. How does one put out a fire? Also, it was a very difficult and rigorous course. The statistician leaps in the air shouting, “We got it!”, One afternoon, an electrical engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. Supernatural is a null word. Because we know how hard the process is, we went ahead and put together this collection of really funny engineering memes . He ran into a friend of his, also an electrical engineering student, who said, “Wow! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”, God was as mad as he had ever been, “This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. . — Anonymous. An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be. Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, “Four.”, The accountant was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons. 77 Best Funny Love Quotes See some amazing funny engineering quotes below. Engineers day Facebook Profile Pic. An engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. An engineer, a physicist, and an accountant were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. Engineers Day Facebook Images. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. The physicist goes first. but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me. 2. Recently I was looking for some good programming quotes for one of my presentation. ; Engineering is the art and science of nuts and bolts. You can also read funny car quotes and cousin quotes if you love humor. Facebook Haha Funny Thoughts Secrets Hate Love. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, 10. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. 20+ Funny Birthday Wishes for Engineers Memes and Quotes. “That’s great. I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”, The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. . What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? “But remember this, Japanese boy... airplanes are not tools for war. The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll do whatever you say!” Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. Programming Quotes. “When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.”. First the engineer’s coffee maker catches fire. It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page. Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. Funny Engineering Quotes and Sayings. Here are 25 of the funny programming quotes in random order. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. 1. Get it right….CIVIL ENGINEERS. The scientist submerged the ball in water in a graduated cylinder and measured the displaced volume. Then why not share them with your friends? 61. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. Get inspired by reading the above quote [""] Be inspired wherever you go with great quotes. What more do you want?” Funny Engineer Quotes - Find a happy and positive messages every day to light up your day. The goal of science and engineering is to build better mousetraps. The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said…. He says to himself, “Hmm. They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it. it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. “We shape our buildings, thereafter they shape us.” - Winston Churchill. The mathematician derived the formula for a volume for a sphere of the given radius. - Douglas Adams -. 1. Engineer Gifts for Women Men I speak 4 languages English Profanity Sarcasm Engineering Funny Quotes Gifts for Engineer Graduation Student. Discover and share Engineer Humor Funny Quotes. With that in mind, I offer my top ten engineering quotes. Engineers Day Images. So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. . 7861 matching entries found. A good scientist is a person with original ideas. An intern angel, filling in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, “Ah, you’re an engineer. Three guys go down to Vegas one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. Unfortunately, you’ll have to go through a lot if you want to be an engineer and enjoy those benefits. it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, Shop by fabric, brand, style or lots of other options for your funny engineer … Funny quotes. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. Happy Engineers Day Quotes. They crash the raft onto the bank. The car’s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. Software Engineering might be science; but that's not what I do. much help at all. Funny Electrical Engineering Students and Electricians (Images Story) Today, We are going to be off topic (may be not in some cases) to show you some funny parts of Electrical Engineering that happens or happened around us. He says, “I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. The last one is strapped in and say’s “I’m an electrical engineer, and I’ll tell you right now, you’ll never electrocute anybody if you don’t connect those two wires.”. Science is about knowing; engineering is about doing. The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll do whatever you say!” Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. That doesn’t work. The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . Happy Engineers Day Funny Quotes. Liked these engineer jokes? The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefit’s package.”, The HR Manager said, “Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Mercedes?”, The engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow!!! One is quantum electrodynamics and the other is the turbulent motion of fluids. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”. An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant. Architects and engineers are among the most fortunate of men since they build their own monuments with public consent, public approval and often public money. How cool that you get to drive a train everyday! 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Not only classic but Epic ? define rudely but not inaptly, is the art of doing that well with one dollar, which any bungler can do with two after a fashion. Engineering quotes. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. Our next quotation comes from the other half of the world-class and world-renowned brand Rolls-Royce – Henry Royce, engineer par excellence. Antibody - One who hates his body . it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, A good engineer is a person who makes a design that works with as few original ideas as possible. Funny engineering funny funny engineering quotes funny engineer quotes File Size: 600 x 600 pixels (43827 bytes) Image Name: quotes picture quotes 4405 views File Size: 480 x 480 pixels (37220 bytes) Image Name: 50 funnyputer quotes funny quotes failure humorousputer quotes After a few minutes he’s ready, he takes aim, and he fires. Engineers operate at the interface between science and society.” - Gordon Stanley Brown. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”. 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes Engineers do them." That sure is a great bike. Makes a perfect gift for the engineer, engineering professor and student. Check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults. The joy of engineering is to find a straight line on a double logarithmic diagram. — Gordon L. Glegg, British Engineer, 1969. “Try the same when the engine is running.”?? Life is like a gas turbine, After every compressor, there is always a turbine! This is my top 20 favorite engineer quotes, nuff said. Grin and bear it with this funny navy 100% cotton Engineer's Motto Engineering T-shirt Good move. Happy birthday engineer! What were they to do? . I was amazed to find that there are some good programming quotes that are really funny and need some brains to figure out the fun part. “Engineering is the art of directing the great sources of power in nature for the use and convenience of man.” - Thomas Tredgold. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”, God’s face clouded over and he exploded, “What? Where possible I have determined the original source but I also discuss other variants that occurred along the way. Mechanical engineers build weapons. I don't know where most of those came from, they were floating around on the 'Net. Engineering Humor "A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. So, it made me strong and resourceful. Engineer's Motto Engineer T-shirt makes engineers more bearable Engineering T-shirts & More Engineer's Motto Engineer T-shirt is for your favorite engineer who always tinkers and fixes things that aren't broken. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: “How much is two plus two?” The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the boardroom and announcing, “Four.”, The physicist was interviewed next, and was asked the same questions. “How do you start a flood?” he asked. See more ideas about humor, engineering, engineering humor. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. You’ve got an engineer? He would have to ask an engineer to do that." “I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.Figuring the law is on this guy’s side, they let him go. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.”. A mathematician, scientist and engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a red ball. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. 20 Best Banker Jokes Assume the can is open!”. Just kidding, I know you have a boring office job! The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, “How much do you want it to be?”, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” You’re in the wrong place.”. The frog speaks up again and says, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. Maybe you want to start designing your own funny engineer sayings t-shirt designs from a blank slate. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? The chemist tries to erode the can. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. The insurance company paid for everything. Electronic calculators can solve problems which the man who made them cannot solve; but no government subsidised commission of engineers and physicists could create a worm. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Are you joking?”, And the HR Manager said, “Of course, …but you started it.”. 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The engineer says, “Look, I’m an engineer. “A girl came riding up to me and got off the bike, threw off all her clothes, and said that I could have anything that I wanted.”, “Wow,” remarked his friend. There is no one area of chemical engineering that specifically helped me in my career as an astronaut, it was more the general education in engineering. That’s a mistake. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. Funny Engineer T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop Funny Engineer T-Shirts now! He should never have been sent down there. But can you ????? Piecemeal social engineering resembles physical engineering in regarding the ends as beyond the province of technology. . “No”, says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”. A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”, A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. And about the former I am rather more optimistic. Although some of which are pretty old already, they can still tickle a geek's funny … it's funny how forever never seems to last, An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”. Civil engineers build targets. TF2 class #6 Engineer Good things Capable of building stuff Bad Things Low HP It was a natural log. 10 Engineering Quotes “As engineers, we were going to be in a position to change the world – not just study it.” —Henry Petroski, American engineer and author specializing in failure analysis “The scientist discovers a new type of material or energy and the engineer discovers a new use for it.” 20+ Funny Web Developer & Software Programmer Quotes We collected some cool web designer quotes not long ago and thought a follow up with the web developer version would be an awesome idea just so we don’t hurt anybody’s feelings if they are more coding oriented. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. Where did you get it?”, “Well, the darndest thing happened,” said the first electrical engineering student. I’ve got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car’s braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.”, “Well,” said the Software Engineer, “Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.”. You see, my ambition was not to confound the engineering world but simply to create a beautiful piece of art. 2. The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: “I’ve got it! I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, I’ll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. “That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. Make Funny Engineer Quotes Excerpts Work or motivation for daily reflection for the Workplace. it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, 1. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about engineers. You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet. Engineers and Glasses The optimist sees the glass as half full. “You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist. Great Birthday gift and Christmas present. . Many of these quotes are common in the profession, often attributed to various sources. It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. They are not for making money. He worked it out with a pencil. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. If you are Electrical or Electronic Engineer, Student, Electrician, Technician or hobbyist, We are sure that you are a part of one of them in the following image gallery. On this page: Engineering Terminology; Top Ten Reasons To Date an Engineer 29 entries are tagged with funny engineering quotes. Oct 19, 2018 - If it isn't broken, take it apart and fix it. Did you hear about the constipated engineer? Laugh at 17 really funny engineering jokes. ... but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure. Choose a blank t-shirt to create your own from scratch. Jul 14, 2016 - Inspirational & important Quotes related to the electrical engineering background. I am an old man now, and when I die and go to Heaven there are two matters on which I hope for enlightement. Engineering Joke An engineer is someone who uses a slide rule to multiply two by two; gets an answer of 3.99 and calls it 4 to the nearest significant figure . Finally, the frog asks, “What is the matter? That doesn’t work either. See more ideas about engineering quotes, engineering, electrical engineering. Frankly, you’ve not been He was one of the pioneers who improved on the design of motor cars to make them much more efficient. This could be accomplished by applying water.” So he picks up the trash can, puts it in the shower stall, turns on the water, and, when the fire is out, goes back to sleep. He says: “Aha! The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. 62. Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”, Satan laughed uproariously, “Yeah, right. 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. I'm a hacker, not an engineer. Funny Civil Engineering Quotes An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn’t have the personality of an accountant. Engineer Quotes (123 quotes) Boss: Dilbert, You have been chosen to design the world’s safest nuclear power plant. The engineer goes second. She replied' the engineers make advances and add no detail, the lawyers argue details and make no advance'. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. "Scientists dream about doing great things. mechanical engineer, coffee, funny, caffeine, espresso, latte, coffee beans, cappuccino, cool, cute, awesome, quotes, sayings, mechanical engineer bestfriend, mechanical engineer boyfriend, mechanical engineer employee, mechanical engineer co worker, mechanical engineer staff, mechanical engineer personnel, mechanical engineer student, mechanical engineer graduate, mechanical engineer … The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be. A chemist, a physicist, and a chemical engineer are rafting down a river. Showing search results for "Funny Engineering" sorted by relevance. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. He bends over, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket. You just have to read these funny quotes about engineering. Plus, the funny engineer sayings t-shirts you see above start at just $14.95. Quote #1. The goal of nature is to build better mice. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. A look at life to the right of the bell curve because engineering = magic. One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”, Satan laughed and replied, “Hey, things are going great. . One man's magic is another man's engineering. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our hilarious jokes. It is amazing that almost anything is made fun of and engineering doesn’t escape the list. Airplanes are beautiful dreams. Discover our 20+ funny birthday wishes for engineers that make getting older just a little bit easier! From here, it becomes an engineering problem; the engineer considers the ground motion that will occur and evaluates the requirements of the proposed structure in the light of the local foundation conditions. You’ll have to spend several sleepless nights and skip partying with friends just to study. “Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”. Improvement makes strait roads: but the crooked roads without Improvement are roads of Genius. Send him up here.”, Satan shook his head, “No way. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bed sheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. A solution exists!” and goes back to sleep. “I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”, “Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. What's the difference between civil engineers and mechanical engineers? 60. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, See his answers... the last one is ultimate.